In Search of Meaning (i)

It has been an arduous task trying to define most precisely what I have been aiming towards with this work. I have spent many months in a sort of hibernation, tossing and turning towards understanding my real intention here. This is it. Fundamentally I am searching for meaning amid this life, the joys the suffering. What is the point to it all and how do we each make sense of it?

In my last post I left off having just begun a chemotherapy treatment and was planning to use the time to let go of the labels in my own life and sense of self. I didn’t have to try hard the treatment itself stripped away my sense of identity. My immune system, hair, my eyelashes, partial eyebrows, my inner sense of security, my body shape, thinking patterns and my sense of being in this world. All went. I haven’t been in my power or my best self during this time. I felt destabilised and more vulnerable than I had initially imagined like I’d been thrown into some internal wilderness. I have felt much confusion, sadness and loss. I lost my way from my heart. It was a very difficult experience. The drug itself altered my DNA , this is changed for the rest of my life and in turn changed my sense of self. I gained a lot too, some maturity, some wisdom, a sense of my own boundaries and what I truly needed to be most authentic in this life. It has been a vastly profound journey from then until now.

Through this work I am hoping not just to make sense of my own life experiences. I am also keen to learn how you make sense of yours. I feel the best way to approach this is just to share my own journey with you and invite you to join in exploring your own.

What does all this life experience mean, why do we experience the things we do and why is it different for everyone. What makes us both different and the same? What is the point of it all?

I’m back….and everyday reconnecting to my sense of being, my heart and remembering why I began this work.

So here I am, ready and open to the questions in search of meaning.

I look forward to sharing the journey together 🙏✨

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