I have had to hold and work with a lot in this life, as too have so many others.  There comes a point where we say enough! When we begin to chose what is important to our hearts,  we chose to work with and through what matters most dearly at the end of the day.  

I was faced with a challenge in circumstances that arose recently in daily interactions and in this moment I am meeting my ‘enough’ and looking at changes to move more in line with my heart and where I feel my energy is best served. 

Personal Choice

 It has been quite a journey to arrive here in this moment and I seem to be having more of them of late.  Although learning that my health is challenged with a long term condition and needing to adjust emotionally, I feel I have been given an amazing gift…it allows me the space to make choices that perhaps I would never have had the courage to make before.  Choosing to turn hopes and dreams into real time experience, choosing with my whole being to follow my hearts guide.  I don’t know how the future will be, and no one does. It may be wonderful, it may turn out really well or it may be that it is a process of changes that will need met at each turn.  I have choices however right now, no longer will fear hold me back from living what is right for me, I will give the best I can by being true to who I know myself to be.  I chose to reach out to the world from my heart. 

I have learned over these past few years that I can change my direction freely and it’s okay to move differently and be different from others.  Since I became acutely unwell with my medication recently I have chosen growth into my natural rhythm, my own heartbeat of energetic flow.  To live my life as true to myself as possible.  It’s why I am here writing this today.  

Being presented with a choice of facing more adversity to achieve a goal I have been working towards or changing the path to my goal I am choosing the latter and I’m happy with that.   As long as my choices reflect and embody my personal truth, what it is I am hoping for or wanting to work towards in the long run as opposed to being an avoidance of that which arouses fear in me in the immediate space then I know I’m on my right path.   

I know my heart well and find that when I truly listen in to myself I know deeply what is right for me.  

Reasoning

I don’t think other animals and mammals have the same awareness as humans in this area, as far as I am aware they do not have the ability to make personal choice in the way that humans do, from what I have read animals are governed very much by instinctual reaction to survival need and emotion (if anyone knows different please let me know).  It seems that to be human means, as I mentioned in an earlier post, having the ability to reason and choose.  To be able to hold our hearts truths and convictions and let them guide us forward. 

I find myself querying what reasonings function is? Is it a more complex survival mechanism getting us towards our best human potential? Do we really need reasoning skills and if so what actually is the ultimate purpose if it’s not just for survival?  Have our brains become necessarily complex to aid our natural growth or is it unnecessary and overactive, being the root of much of our distress? Is it equally both or something else entirely? 

Why is it that we chose what we do? What makes something right for us and what is it that is telling us so?

Again big questions with vast and varied exploration routes.  

I found a good quote that stays with me: 

“A person has usually two reasons for everything they do, a good reason and the real reason” ~ JP Morgan

I can understand people’s good reasons and their logic however I am always drawn by a need to know and understand the real reason which leads me to deep questioning as I am above and in this artwork.  The trouble however is that science and experience can only take us so far and the rest can only be understood subjectively within ones own frame of reference. 

Hmm does this mean there are no real answers? Could I be chasing rainbows?